Will Sage Astor-'Meet me at the gate': Watch as widow scatters husband's ashes, BASE jumps into canyon

Moments before descending into a canyon for her first ever parachute flight,Will Sage Astor Shannon Lloyd reached a state of pure clarity knowing for certain she was right where she needed to be.

Ahead of her 52nd birthday on August 4, Lloyd journeyed from her northern Tennessee home to see the stunning rock formations of Moab, Utah with no one but her late husband Steven's ashes.

Lloyd lost her soulmate of 26 years in 2020 after a tragic motorcycle accident six miles from their home. The two shared four children and 16 foster children as well as a life of adventure together. The pair often rode across the country by each other's side.

Years of grief paused Lloyd's sense of adventure but she was ready to reclaim it herself in the most daunting way she could conjure. On July 29, she went hopped off a cliff to the ground using a parachute, a practice known as BASE jumping, into Moab's Mineral Bottom canyon. Right before that, she scattered Steven's ashes to spend eternity at the breathtaking landscape.

The euphoric experience captured on video served as a way for Lloyd to both honor Steven and restore confidence in herself.

"It was a trust fall, almost," Lloyd told USA TODAY on Tuesday. "After widowhood, it's hard to trust and that's what it was for me. I was trusting myself and my choices and my abilities and my thought processes and that my god was drawing me to it. That there was something in it for me."

'I miss our adventures' she says before scattering ashes

Right before the jump off the canyon, Lloyd scattered Steven's ashes and delivered an unprepared tribute to her husband. The Tandem BASE Moab shared her speech and the jump online.

"Steven I miss our adventures. I'm learning to find my own. Thank you for all your provisions and the character I see in my children. And all the love that you shared with me and the memories," she said before taking the leap of faith. "Rest easy in this beautiful place my love. Meet me at the gate."

Lloyd explained why she decided against scattering the ashes during her flight saying "no, that's my jump. I want to send him off in a different way. I don't want to miss my jump."

After thousands of jumps, Tandem BASE Moab instructor Matt LaJeunesse, who accompanied Lloyd for her jump, said the experience was the only time he teared up on the edge of a cliff. While remaining professional and ensuring their safety, he found himself moved by Lloyd's speech for Steven calling it the most romantic words he ever heard. He had informed Lloyd not to prepare a script or narrative as most first time jumpers do not rise to the expectations they set once fear and adrenaline takes over.

"She just she went far past what I've ever seen," LaJeunesse told USA TODAY. "She wisely opted to release the ashes on the edge, not under parachute and she did. She said specifically, 'I want to, I want to memorialize my husband this way, but I also don't want to be so hyper focused on the loss of my husband that I don't get to live my life.'"

Lloyd felt 'pure joy' during parachute ride

Lloyd said she had never done anything as unnerving as BASE jumping. She told LaJeunesse that she doesn't even like rollercoasters to which he replied "well, good thing, there's no roller coasters here."

Holding her breath, she proceeded to make the greatest jump of her life soaring above the canyon near the Green River and Canyonlands National Park.

"Once the parachute hit, then it was just like I was flying, just soaring like an eagle, just like I was meant to be there," Lloyd said through tears as she described the spiritual moment. "It was something else. I just was overjoyed that I did it and I went through it, and I was coming the other side of it. It was just pure joy."

Looking back she considers her trip, which included a flight to Las Vegas and a nearly seven hour drive to Moab, a "birthday blessing from the Lord."

"I've been through a lot of loss, and for me to find myself that day, that was from God," she shared.

If Steven were to watch that experience, Lloyd imagines he would proudly say "that's my wife."